A fresh start for fall

Hi friends,

It’s been a hot minute. I’ve been taking a little breather but I’m back and ready to hit the ground running again!

Is it just me or does the dawning of September always feel like a fresh start? Maybe it’s the cooler mornings or just the fact that after so many years of school that “back-to-school” feeling is forever engrained in my brain.

For what it’s worth, I fully recognize it’s now more like the dawning of October. I may or may not have started writing this a month ago…

Regardless, this year I’ve decided to fully embrace it. Hit the reset button. Re-examine some of my goals and values and get back to feeling more in alignment after all the summer fun.

[Side note: If your summer wasn’t so fun and you’ve been going through some hard sh*t, that’s okay too. You’re not alone. All the more reason for a fresh start, am I right?]

So, after a little time away for some serious self-reflection, here are the areas I’m choosing to focus on in the coming months.

Feeding my body well

I’m not just talking about food here, though that’s certainly part of it. I mean giving my body all the things it needs to function at its best. Healthy food, regular exercise, enough sleep, and, because the body and mind are incredibly interconnected, positive self-talk.

I’ve gone into detail on all of these topics before so I won’t belabour them again here, but suffice it to say, even those who give advice struggle. And I am certainly not exempt from that.

Lately, I’ve been feeling the need to reset and get more intentional with my exercise again. I know that I feel better, body, mind and soul, when I keep up with regular exercise. Until recently, it had fallen onto the back burner a bit, and I was really starting to feel the effects.

So I’m getting back on the horse. I’ve been taking a lot of walks because this time of year is just so beautiful in the country! Outside of that, I mainly stick to yoga or strength training at home. I’m not keeping a strict schedule – just whatever I’m feeling in the moment.

If I haven’t shared them before my go-to sources for at-home workouts include Yoga With Adriene, and for strength training, HASfit. Both offer tons of free videos that are suitable for all fitness levels. I highly recommend.

Reconnecting with the important people in my life

This is one of those things that I feel like we tend to pay lip service to but don’t often take purposeful action on.

It’s so easy to take our relationships for granted. Especially the ones that we consider to be our most stable and steadfast – think your spouse, sister, or best friend. Because you know they’ll always be there for you, it’s easy to let them fall to the bottom of your priority list when life gets a little harried.

But if they’re going to continue to thrive, these relationships need love and attention too! It’s not fair that we neglect the people that are our biggest supports.

From my perspective, both quality and quantity have important roles to play here. An hour spent having a real, distraction-free, conversation over dinner, beats three hours of watching TV with your hubby while simultaneously checking your phones. I know I’m not the only one who’s guilty of this! QUALITY for the win here people.

At the same time, frequent, quick check-ins always make me feel more connected to what’s going on in my friends’ daily lives. Moreso than if we go two months without talking followed by a monster catch-up session. Don’t get me wrong – I love the lengthy catch-ups, but I want to know when my besties are having a rough week, when their dog is sick, etc. I’m setting the intention to do better at this going forward.

Letting go of “shoulds”

This is something I’ve been working on with my coach lately.

It didn’t take long for her to help me identify that during our sessions together I throw around a whole lot of “should” statements. I should do this, I should be able to do that, etc. Beyond simply drawing awareness to this, it’s been beneficial for us to examine more closely where those beliefs come from, and how they’re serving me, if at all.

To give you a recent example, during a discussion around personal finances I stated to her that I wanted to have a better understanding of all the things my accountant and financial planner talk to me about. The conversation went something like this (with some very generous paraphrasing):

“That’s fantastic. Why is that important to you?”

“Because I feel like I should – as a professional and also just as an adult. I’m self-conscious (and being totally truthful – embarrassed) of how basic some of my questions are. Also, I think it would give me a greater sense of security about my finances. I tend to feel good about things immediately after I’ve met with them and then slowly diverge into more anxiety around money (hello, scarcity mindset!) until we meet again, and then the cycle repeats.”

“Where do you think that anxiety comes from?”

“Probably all the messages I’ve received about money my whole life. Both from society and passed down through generations in my family. Things like “it’s important to save your money, you might need it for a rainy day”.”

“It makes sense that you’d feel that way – those are super ubiquitous messages. So with that in mind, how would better educating yourself help to allay this anxiety?”

“Honestly? I don’t think it would. My questions might be more informed or detailed but I’d still feel a sense of uncertainty.”

“And why is that?”

“Because there are so many nuances to it – which is exactly why accounting and financial planning exist as their own separate fields. There’s no way I could learn as much as I’d need to to feel secure. Nor, do I want to invest that kind of time for that matter.”

“So how is the thought that you should be better informed about personal finance serving you right now?”

“The short of it? It’s not.”

“What would it feel like to try on an alternate belief?”

“Freeing.”

And so on and so forth. With this type of framework in my head I’ve been able to coach myself through various misguided “shoulds” as they come up for me. I can ask myself where the belief that I should do x, y, z came from, how it’s serving me, and what it might feel like to let it go.

Taking massive action (over passive action)

This one is juicy folks. So much so that I think I’m actually going to defer it to a future dedicated post so we can really take a deep dive into it! Stay tuned for that one.

So how about it tribe? What does a fresh start entail in your world? What goals are you re-committing to this fall? Let me know in the comments!

xoxo

Laura

4 Replies to “A fresh start for fall”

  1. I want to get back into meal prep.
    Also trying to find out my new routine with a toddler and newborn so i can add in my morning workout again. I used to do a workout video every morning that Ethan would nap.
    This hasn’t happened in a long time. I can remember how good it makes me feel so my plan is to get there again.

  2. Sorry I am a little late on the draw here! Melissa, I too have a newborn at home (sans toddler) and as much as I am loving every aspect of motherhood, I found myself longing for a mere hour of me time on the daily to continue feeling some form of “normalcy”. I set this as my goal and while not always easy between feedings, play time, visits, outings and standard household chores (laundry for days) I have made it a point to work that hour into my day, be it an early am coffee, news catch up and cuddle with my little man Berkley (cat) or an hour session with my former fitness trainer. While not always easy I find myself making a subconscious effort to allow myself this time and have become much more in tune with the importance of self care and what a even a small amount of it can do as my own reset. Some days are of course better than others (occasionally I choose to nap with Kennedy for that time) but having this goal is so good mentally for both myself and as a result, it is good for my newborn and husband too.
    This has given me new life! Thanks for your posts and incredible perspectives, Aunt Laura. You are an inspiration to all xoxo #life

  3. I too had gotten away from the exercise that I had planned within my week. After a group I was attending small group classes with, wanted to take a break over summer, I got completely off track.
    My children, their busy lives, house Reno’s, work, all crept to the top of the list again. My body/mind started letting me know in various ways that I needed to again find time for myself. I have started back up with training (I need the accountability/help with safe movements and lifting), and started a learn to run with friends from work.
    I am reminded that when I make time for myself I can be a version of myself that feels more at peace and ready to be the Mama, spouse, friend, provider, I intend to be.

    The “shoulds” are a real work in progress. I preach not “should-ing all over yourself” and believe this, but haven’t found how to really work through it in an effective way. Your example was very helpful and has given me food for thought!

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